For a man to admit that we are vulnerable and delicate can be a difficult thing, men don’t like to show their feelings and so this blog comes with a little trepidation.
For 28 years I have had a cycle of binge eating when I am on my own and eating a balanced and healthy diet when I was in a relationship. This would lead to massive weight gains when I was alone and massive weight loss when I was in a relationship. For years this had made my life miserable and I was getting to the point where I was thinking that life wasn’t worth living so out of desperation I contacted a very good friend of mine Becky Willoughby. Becky is a medium but also a hypnotherapist and an NLP coach. I explained the situation and went to see her. I spent all afternoon and to my surprise my binge eating was down to the suicide of my Grandfather. He was a Trance Healer and also the kindest and most genuine man I have ever meet and his passing left me devastated. All these years and I had never let him go. During the session I saw myself and him together, I hugged him and let him walk into the light at this point there were a few tears.
The following few days I felt fantastic on the inside and rubbish on the outside but I knew that I was clearing stuff so it wasn’t a problem. However then mentally I began to drop becoming severally stressed, focusing on the negatives in my life and dropping into depression like a stone. People could see it in my eyes and were asking if I was ok to which I would reply ‘yeap fine, just a little tired’. Of course male ego wouldn’t allow me to say ‘actually I feel like shit and need a bloody hug! But then I would feel bad I had beaten the eating disorder but in turn taken away my security blanket.
There are positives though it doesn’t matter how bad I feel, how much my head feels like its been squeezed in a vice my mediumship seems to be coming deeper, clearer and hopefully more meaningful and healing for the people that need it. I can feel inside that things are changing and I'm actually starting to like myself. I feel like the stress will be around for a bit longer as I haven’t completely learnt the lesson that i need to. Each day I thank the experience for its teaching but I also look forward to the day it goes.
A primrose is a delicate and beautiful flower but its also a deep yellow colour, within that depth is strength. If you stand on it it bounces back. When as Winston Churchill calls depression ‘the black dog’ comes to see you keep on fighting for who you are and what you believe in because light will always overcome darkness and when you eventually win, it will leave you stronger, more balanced and more able to live life to the full.
Finally getting back to Becky, she told me off and told me to go back and see her which I will do. After one session with her I let go off something that I had held onto for nearly 30 years, she truly is good at what she does.
Born in 1967 I come from a heredity line of mediums going back three generations, I have been lucky enough to see visitors from the spirit realms since the age of 3.